Pirates

A friend asked the other day about why pirates are not called terrorists. My first thought was that it's because we have a romanticized view of swashbuckling buccaneers swinging onto a ship's deck. Pirates are really nothing more than armed robbers, but their "adventures" take place at sea. And their in lies the answer to the original question--terrorist's objectives are typically to destroy people or property for political or emotional reasons, whereas pirates are all about financial gain.

With all of the negative press about the Somali Coast pirates, I'm expecting the "professional protesters" of the politcal correctness wing to start making a fuss about pirate movies, pirate costumes, and most of all, pirate mascots. You know who I'm talking about, the people who are "offended" by almost anything and consider everything an insult to someone. They have successfully had several mascots changed, and unbelievably convinced enough people that the Chief symbol for Illinois was somehow offensive. Well, they have excess time on their hands now, and I am peering into my crystal ball and guessing that pirates will be the next thing that ruffles their uber-sensitive feathers. This will, of course, go beyond the Pittsburgh baseball club, East Carolina University, and numerous high schools. It will also include any vikings, buccaneers, corsairs, and even raiders. There are three NFL teams right there, so maybe the Redskins and Chiefs can get a little relief.

Now this political correctness "stuff" reminds me of the recent uproar regarding Joe Biden's purchase of a german sheperd puppy from a breeder. I know...you are all offended just by reading that sentence ;) But seriously, the ruckus apparently was related to the fact that he didn't get a dog from a shelter. Now I like dogs, and I very much support the work that shelters do to save, protect, and relocate lost and unwanted animals. But a small, radical fringe group of animal lovers has gone too far in protesting when someone buys a pet from breeder. They have actually severely harassed the breeder, their family, and other local breeders in this case. I even heard the expression "buy a breeder dog, kill a stray." The logic is so ridiculous that I suggest they live by the saying "eat food, kill a starving child." Like I said, these people can be offended by almost anything! (And you have to admire how the Obama's skillfully avoided this controversy by receiving their dog as a gift).

So that got me to thinking, what are we going to do when the professional protesters turn up the heat on our beloved local high school Pirates? After ten years of hassle, they will likely wear down the local school board into making a change in an effort to not offend anyone. My suggestion for a new mascot...the Rescue Dogs (Mighty Rescue Dogs?, Fightin' Rescue Pups?). This should finally please everyone, FOREVER!!

And what about our crosstown rival Vikings? I think Stray Mutts would fit very nicely.