In the Interest of National Security....

I somehow feel juxtaposing these two current news stories would solve a problem and, remarkably, make all parties happy.

U.S. Secret Service under spotlight after prostitution flap

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/secret-service-agents-forced-amid-prostitution-investigation/story?id=16164647#.T5NuSKsS17c

Sex Robots The Future of Prostitution, Researchers Say

http://www.inquisitr.com/222857/sex-robots-the-future-of-prostitution-researchers-say/

Bowling News

I know most readers probably follow Bowling news pretty closely, but I want to highlight a few recent stories you might have missed if you were busy or traveling in Egypt.

Pro Bowler Rolls Record Low Score

Last weekend was the PBA's "Super Bowl"--The Tournament of Champions.

Bowlers who qualify for the event bowl 72 games during the week to determine who will bowl in the televised semi-finals on the weekend.

35-year old professional Tom Daugherty qualified while breaking 200 in 63 games during the week, but the proverbial wheels came off in the semis.

Tom rolled seven splits, and needed to pick up two pins on the second ball of the 10th frame to reach 100. He did it, and now holds the record for lowest score in a televised professional match.

I don't keep my own personal bowling database, but I'm guessing he also set several other records. For instance, his opponent Mika Koivuniemi missed only one pin for a 299 in what has to be the largest margin of victory in a televised pro match.

At least it was interesting for the spectators down to the final rolls as one competitor tried to hit the magic 100, while the other was reaching for 300.

Of course, this occurred in the richest bowling tournament in history. Despite his "bad day," Daugherty pocketed $50,000 for finishing in 3rd place--the highest place and largest check he has ever won. Koivuniemi went on to win the finals and earn $250k.

Here are links to an article and news video of the event:

http://www.fanhouse.com/2011/01/26/tom-daugherty-rolls-on-after-rolling-worst-game-in-televised-pba/

http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=6050760

Barrington Woman Rolls Perfect Wii Bowling Game

I could only smile while reading this headline on the frontpage of the Triblocal Sports section. (Yes, the same one that has published several of my articles!)

Sure, anyone can publish anything on line, but this was in print. In the Chicago Tribune.

To her credit, Julia Steco is 81 and Wii bowling is not the easiest game to master. I am much better in Wii bowling than real bowling, and I have never rolled a perfect 300.

But does this qualify as "all the news that's fit to print?"

I think not, and I'm sure there are thousands of teens out there who have conquered numerous video games and are wondering where to find their 15 minutes of print fame.

The frosting on the cake from my battered journalist perspective was the line "...that's 10 consecutive strikes." Funny, it takes 12 in my game (and real bowling). Nice editing.

http://triblocal.com/barrington/community/stories/2011/01/barrington-local-rolls-perfect-wii-bowling-game/

On a More Serious Note

Just so the true bowlers out there don't think I'm mocking their sport, I want to point out a local girl from Elk Grove High School did roll a perfect 300 game to help her team to the overall championship at the conference meet yesterday. And yes, senior Caerolina Williams did get her picture in the local paper.

What will it be this year?

My "money pit" has suffered most of its functional and financially crippling events the week between Christmas and New Year's. Often on December 31.

The last few years have seen a broken garage door spring (cars stuck inside), a burned out ejector pump for the basement bathroom (due to a valve failure), and a broken furnace (with temps at about zero).

We have been fortunate to receive timely and good quality service in each case, but not at discount prices.

The dishwasher has had intermittent electrical problems lately, but even if that fails it would hardly be crippling to the household.

I can only wonder what awaits me these last few hours of 2010....

Motion Picture Binge

The random intersection of the end of the Tour de France with a free trial of Netflix has spun me into an unintentional movie binge over the last two weeks.

Contrary to rumor, I am not intending to watch every one of the 100,000 items on Netflix before the end of the free trial to avoid paying any fees. But I did consider it.

I have watched 12.3 movies and 14 tv episodes during the trial. So far. And I've brought a few young friends along for part of the ride. Some are "reruns" of movies I watched many years ago, and wanted to see again and/or share with the kids. Most are movies I have never seen, from old classics to recently released films I missed in the theater.

Here is my one sentence review of each film from this group, in deference to the twitter culture. My ratings are based on 11 stars.

Mask (1994): Zany Jim Carey romp where a straight-laced banker finds an ancient mask that gives him cartoon superhero powers. 7 stars

Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008): Powerful concentration camp story told from a German officer family's perspective. 8 stars

Roxanne (1987): Steve Martin excels in this modern Cyrano remake. 9 stars

Saturday Night Fever (1977): I had forgotten how weak this disco era defining film is, although some of the dancing was entertaining. 3 stars

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009): Entertaining teen comedy about a writer trying to work her way "up" to fashion in the magazine world. 6 stars

The Proposal (2009): Well done absurd, romantic comedy with a mis-match couple in a humorous setting. 8 stars

Flirting with Disaster (1996): Wandering comedy/adventure about adoptee Ben Stiller trying to find his birth parents (you'll notice I watch a lot of Tea Leoni films). 6 stars

Escape From Alcatraz (1979): Re-watch of the thrilling Clint Eastwood story based on the actual escape. 8 stars

You Kill Me (2007): Under the radar artsy film about an alcoholic mob assassin rehabing in SanFran so he can get back to work in Buffalo (another Tea flick). 8 stars

Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself (2005): Not a movie, but a good taped stand up comedy show...if you like that sort of thing. 7 stars

Soylent Green (1973): Rewatch of the futuristic overpopulated, polluted world of 2022 exploring several social themes including man's good/evil nature and the objectification of women. 9 stars

Holiday (1938): Cary Grant & Katherine Hepburn in a classic "common man marries rich girl" with quick dialogue and an even quicker plot. 10 stars

Next (2005): Nicholas Cage, as a Vegas magician who can see 2 minutes into the future, gets wrapped up in an FBI investigation and a soon-to-be romance. (No rating yet since I am only part way through this movie I taped to watch while I am working out)

I have many more films "queued up" for the dog days of August.

Vamos Espana!

I was told this was the rough equivalent to Viva la France.

After Spaniard Alberto Contador captured the Tour de France, I realized it was a sweep for Spain in the major international sporting events of the summer. A Spanish rider winning "Le Tour" is not a surprise. And Rafa Nadal capturing the Wimbledon crown cannot be considered an upset, although the Spainish usually excel on clay. But Spain also won the World Cup for the first time in it's history!

Congratulations to Spain on a historic month in sport.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, and THE UGLY (a new feature for me. We'll see if it sticks)

The Good: Netflix. I started a free trial to catch up on some movies, especially old classics before my time, and good films I wanted to share with the kids (Roxanne, Soylent Green, Urban Cowboy, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers-Donald Sutherland version, Oh God, Abbott and Costello meet the Mummy, and several others).

What caught my eye was the ability to watch movies instantly through a game system (Wii, PS3, Xbox) when it is linked to the interet, in addition to exchanging discs through the mail. It took about 3 minutes to set up, and the interface works very well. They don't have a lot of the movies/tv shows available "instantly", but there are allegedly 20,000 items available this way, including several items from 2009 and 2010. I have watched many movies in the first 10 days of the trial, and a few tv episodes. This includes the entire first season (ten 21 min eps) of Archer, an irreverent international spy/comedy/comic that aired on FX this winter. Think Kimpossible for grownups. I plan to include it in my 09/10 tv season review, if I ever blog it. It will be a review since I dragged my feet too long on the preview.

Overall, I give Netflix an A+ as both delivery methods are quick and reliable. I will become a regular subscriber.

The Bad: Walgreens. I have been a longtime investor and fan, but they have been swinging and missing with me a lot lately.

I went to pick up a prescription I had dropped off weeks earlier. They could not fill it at that time because the insurance company said it was too close to the last date filled. No problem. They told me to come back after a certain date. I did. Remarkably, it still wasn't ready and would be done in a "few minutes." How many days does it take to put pills in a bottle?

So I looked around (which is one of the reasons prescriptions "take a few minutes"). There was a store remodeling sale going on, which was nice since the remodeling was causing some issues. The sign on the door said 50%-75% off clearance items. However, the reality was it was 50% off the second item when the first was purchased at full price. A bit deceptive. Really a 25% discount to buy in volume.

The last straw was when I was overcharged for candy by my preferred candy supplier. Good N Plenty in this case. They advertise the "3 for $3", but the cash registers consistently have trouble with this. Granted, it was only a 60 cent overcharge that I didn't notice until I was gone, but this is not the first time.

Three strikes in what should have been an easy less-than-five-minute stop? Disappointing.

The Ugly: Comcast. I'm sure any of us could go on for hours about their local cable tv provider, so I will try to keep my rant brief. As an investor, I always found monopolies appealing, but as a sheep customer, they just suck.

The current "service enhancement" requires cable boxes on every tv, even though technology overcame this need about 25 years ago. This allows the cable company to better control who is getting/paying for the signal, and also allows them to charge monthly for required equipment. Kind of like going to a restaurant, ordering the soup, and then being charged an additional per minute fee for the use of a spoon.

This "simple" installation of the boxes required re-configuring tv/vcr/dvd/gaming system set-ups, and even dismantling an entertainment system to get to everything and make it work right.
The end result:

• 3 of 4 tvs working with the new boxes (the 4th one isn't directly Comcast's fault because I can't get the tv and vcr to work together, but it was working fine before I was forced to take it apart).
• 9, or 14, or some other number of new channels I don't care about. Hey, how about giving us back SyFy Network (formerly SciFi)?
• Another! remote for each room. May possibly be able to consolidate in one or two cases, but seeing my friend's family rooms doesn't make me optimistic.
• Another! plug to find an outlet for in 4 rooms (very green Comcast!).
• A lost Saturday afternoon for three people.
• An additional monthly charge.

The benefit? Other than the opportunity to dust in some normally inaccessible places, it appeared we would now get OnDemand. But there is an error message saying we need to call them again after spending 20 minutes on the phone already trying to "activate" the new service.

I feel Comcastic!

I was trying to think of what the entries for comcastic would be in a thesauras, but my therapist is insisting I take a few deep breaths and think pleasant thoughts right now. Any suggestions for thesauras entries from the readers?

BlackHawks, Oil Spills, World Cup, and Conference Realignment

May you live in interesting times--ancient Chinese proverb/curse.

Early June is usually a slow time for news, but this season seems to have a lot of "interesting" things going on...good and bad.

BLACKHAWKS WIN!! In a city starved for championships, save for a flurry of Bulls' titles in the 90s, this winning of The Cup was as enjoyable as it was rare. I wasn't alive the last time the Hawks triumphed (in a 6-team league back then), and the Bears and the Sox have only nailed down a single title apiece in the last half century. And that other Chicago baseball team? I can't even imagine this city if that spectacularly unlikely event should ever occur.

It was great to see the people of Chicago bond for the playoff run, and then celebrate wildly for days. Who knew they even played hockey in June ?!

Uncontrolled Gusher: I am amazed there haven't been more similar problems with underwater drilling, given the complexity of operating miles beneath the surface. I guess everyone else just follows safety procedures better, which is much appreciated. This makes the Valdez spill look like a literal drop in the bucket.

I hate to harp on the media's bias to sensationalize (not really), but have you noticed that everything oil related is always reported in barrels...except this oil spill. At 42 gallons per barrel, it sounds better to say "2 million gallons of oil have leaked" rather than "more than 47 thousand barrels...."

One Game Changes Everything. I do enjoy the quadrennial display of the "beautiful game," but it is certainly no Olympic Games. As usual, the buzz in the US is somewhat muted, while the rest of the world lives and dies on every play. The US seems to be a little over-rated again this year and low scoring games are the general rule in the first round. I vow to use the word nil to describe anything nothing or zero in daily life until this tournament is over.

I am picking Portugal to defeat Spain in the Championship game. (My sentimental pick would be a US-Italy PK shootout, but I don't think I will ever see that day.)

College Conference Realignment: Seldom has there been so much bustle and angst about college sports in June. Conferences do change their affiliations occasionally, but the Big Ten has only made two additions in 98 years. Until this month. Nebraska's jump from the Big 12 to the Big Ten appears to be a better fit for them academically, and they won't have to live under the perceived control of U of Texas in all things athletically related.

There continue to be hourly rumors about other schools moving besides the already announced shifts by Nebraska, Colorado, and Boise St., but I won't be shocked if the waters calm for a few years. I do expect the Pac-10 will add at least one more to get to the 12 needed to split divisions and have championship games. This could be U of Utah (UU?) if a bigger shift fails to materialize.

Assuming the Big Ten changes are done for now, I forsee a West Division of Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Nebraska, Northwestern, and Wisconsin. The East Division would be Indiana, Michigan, Mich St., The Ohio State, Penn State, and Purdue. Everyone thinks of Nebraska football, but the school is actually more powerful in gymnastics, volleyball and wrestling (and possibly others I'm forgetting). I think it is a good fit.

I find it amusing that these academic/athletic conferences are a little mathematically challenged at the moment:

• The Big Ten has 12 schools (no more inaccurate than the 11 it has carried for two decades).
• The Big 12 sits with 10 schools (I just don't see a name trade happening here ;).
• And the Pac-10 consists of 11 institutions of higher learning (but this # will change).

Kentucky Derby 2010

Another year, another Kentucky Derby where the best horse goes out with an injury just days before the race. Eskendereya was a solid pick this year, but a swollen ankle will keep him out for at least a few weeks. Perhaps we will see him in the Preakness or Belmont??

It appears to me this year's Derby is filled with second tier contenders and several wannabes up to the max of 20 horses. You can find something to not love about every horse...but someone will still win over a weak field. The track will probably be sloppy again this year which will open the door for a possible big longshot like Mine That Bird last year.

I'm taking a different approach this year: I will explain why most of the horses won't win the race, and share my thoughts on my prime contenders at the bottom of this post. This, of course, sets me up to possibly "George" this year's race if the winner comes from my early throw-aways.

Some of the factors I look at include: breeding, performance on dirt tracks, performance around two turns (especially at CD), dual qualifiers (statistical analyses based on breeding and early career achievement), top speed performance, running style, and time since last race.

Voted least likely to succeed:

Back Talk-Likes the muddy tracks, but too slow and won't like longer distance.

Paddy O'Prado-Grass horse. Never won on dirt. Probably never will, but the owners get to party at the Derby.

Stately Victor-Woke up on the poly track in the Blue Grass Stakes, but shown nothing on dirt. Pass.

Line of David-I really tried to like this one because of the name, but I can't. Breeding and front-running style say "no" to finding the winner's circle in this one. But I will still have $2 on him to win.

Conveyance-Another front-runner with weak distance breeding.

Dean's Kitten-Another turf horse. Will like the distance, but not much else.

Homeboykris-Hasn't raced since February, and won last in October.

Make Music for Me-A dual qualifier, but hasn't raced on dirt and was beaten badly last race.

Noble's Promise-A popular pick of veteran horse players, but he is too slow for me.

Sidney's Candy-2nd favorite in the morning line, I thought I would throw him out early to make this interesting. Another with front running style and questionable distance breeding, he has never run on dirt. Drew the 20 post to ice him as a non-factor.

These ones have a chance to make an impact:

Ice Box-Late running style fits here, but may not be fast enough in this crowd.

Devil May Care-Dual qualifier with good distance breeding and recent performances. But inconsistent, and filly has never raced against the boys. Not in the same class as other star fillies like Rachel Alexandra, Winning Colors, etc.

Dublin-Meets most of the success factors for Derby winners, but just hasn't run fast enough to be a prime contender.

American Lion-Another popular pick who has shown versatility, but has also been too slow to rate as a serious contender here.

Mission Impazible-La Derby winner is hot at the right time, but can he get the distance?

Prime Contenders:

4 Super Saver-Top pick is 15-1 on the morning line. Has won around two turns at Churchill Downs, been sharp in his prep races this year, has strong distance breeding, and has won on a sloppy track. Not a stand-out in a stronger year, but has enough to do the job in this field.

1 Lookin At Lucky-Dual qualifier who likes to win races. Rallied from significant trouble in his last race to finish an impressive 3rd. Has been the fastest horse so far. Legit favorite. Worried that he likes to "find trouble" and the inside post won't help him in that regard.

15 Discreetly Mine-Another dual qualifier who has raced well this year and should like the longer distance. A clean trip could put him in position to win coming down the stretch.

16 Awesome Act-Yet another dual qualifier (more than usual this year), this 30-1 longshot meets most of the success factors for Derby winners...if he can get the distance.

LONGSHOT SPECIAL

13 Jackson Bend-Never worse than 2nd in nine races, this ultra consistent grinder will be overlooked by most, but has a lot of factors in his favor. I don't think he will win, but a place or show wager could prove quite profitable to his backers while everyone else fawns over the winner.

Olympics - Cool 11

It happens every Olympics. I know it is coming to an end (the whole Closing Ceremonies is a big clue), but I still try to turn the television on the next day to get my fix. I have a letdown, a void that my rational brain should be able to overcome. But I will get over it, and soon realize that you should never turn the tv on during a normal weekday.

COOL 11

My goal was to find the cool people, places, and things from this Olympiad. The ones that really made an impression on me. For people, it was typically someone I would want to sit down with over lunch. As I expected, there were many more than eleven.

11. Marit Bjoergen (Norway) - Cross Country Skiing. Major medal haul!

10. Billy Demong and Johnny Spillane (USA) -Cross Country Skiing. The US finally figured out how to do well in this sport, and these guys were also a good interview.

9. 3rd Skips in Curling (aka Vice Skips). I don't care what any of the experts say, these were the key players in most of the close curling matches.

8. Simon Amman (Switzerland) - Ski Jump. Still doesn't look like Harry Potter, but a very entertaining jumper.

7. Norway Curling Pants. One of the truly lasting images of the games. Can be obtained at: http://readygolf.com/Loudmouth-Golf-MENS-Pants-Dixie/7841/

6. Canada's Women's Hockey Team. Not only the best, but these women have plenty of character.

5. Simul-cam. So much better to watch several sports (e.g. skiing, bobsledding) with this technology.

4. Petter Northug (Norway) - Cross Country Skiing. The ultimate rugged competitor, with the perfect tough guy name (Pet-ter Nor-tug). I am convinced he could have won gold in any event at these games.

Bronze: Ryan Miller (USA) - Hockey. The MAN.

Silver: Julia Mancuso (USA) - Downhill Skiing. Wonderful skier, and much more likable than some other over-hyped participants.

Gold: Shaun White (USA) - Snowboarding.

Honorable mention: I did not intend for the USA to "sweep the medals" in my Cool 11, but the three top choices were hard to deny due to their top performances and infectious personalities. I'm sure there are several other worthy choices out there that did not get exposure in the American media. Some of the other possibilities that just missed my Cool 11 include: Charlotte Kalla (Swe), Jason Lamy Chappuis (Fra), Apolo Ohno (USA), host country Canada, blind sled dog Isobel, Hannah Kearney (USA), Mary Carillo, and A.K. Flatland (Nor).